Teenage Wildlife
by LauralHilll
Summary: Sequel to "Boys Keep Swinging." What happens when the rest of the Marauders find out about Peter and Sirius?  Chapter 9: Reactions to the Prank.
1. Chapter 1: Flavor

_**notes: You might want to read "And Brotherhood" or "Boys Keep Swinging" for a little background info, but it's not necessary. This takes place in the Spring of MWPP's sixth year.**_

**_chapter 1: flavor_**

Peter is nervous as he walks to the seventh floor. Even though it's been a month, he never stops fearing that Sirius will not be there. That _this _Wednesday, he'll blow it off. He doesn't think he's totally out of line to worry, either. Sirius hasn't changed a bit since their first encounter. He still barely talks to him, in public or in private, and he still brags about girls he's shagged. He's kept his word, he hasn't told James or Remus, but Peter would almost be willing to let them know he was bent if he could let them know they were ... doing _things_.

But his worries are for naught; he opens the door to the Room of Requirement and there's Sirius on the bed, waiting for him with his flask. "Hey Wormtail," he says happily. "Fancy a sip?"

Peter nods. He's drunk less and less each time, but the nerves insist that he take at least a few sips of firewhiskey. Then Sirius kisses him, and he kisses him back, gripping his long black hair in his hands. Sirius is a strong, insistent, _angry_ kisser. This all began because Sirius guessed that Peter had a crush on James, and Sirius got angry about it. It couldn't be jealousy exactly, but that anger seems to linger on. Peter doesn't get why, except he supposes that he hasn't actually admitted that the crush has passed. Not exactly passed, but not as urgent. Oh, he still watches James shower after Quidditch practice, but when James isn't around, his thoughts are filled with Sirius Black.

Right now everything is Sirius Black. He tastes of alcohol and urgency. He has a unique body odor, the cologne he wears mixed with a hint of sweat and a scent that Peter could only call "heat." As in, _in heat_. He doesn't smell like that most days, and Peter has been paying attention. He only smells like that when he's aroused. When he wants to _fuck. _

Sirius pulls off Peter's robes while they kiss. Urgent, urgent. When Peter doesn't return the favor, he pulls his own robes off too. He's not wearing anything at all under his robes, not even pants. Peter is fully dressed except that he didn't wear pants, either. When Sirius unzips his trousers, his cock springs loose, to Sirius' delight. "Why Peter! How naughty!" as if he's a schoolgirl without knickers, but his cock turns twice as hard. They both grab each other's cocks simultaneously and start stroking.

Peter is inexperienced, has only ever touched Sirius' cock, and only let Sirius touch his cock, and this is their fifth time doing that, but that's all they've done, that and blowjobs. That's fine with Peter, really, he doesn't mind at all. Part of him thinks buggery is disgusting, and part of him wants to bugger Sirius _stupid_. But Sirius never fails to compliment the size of his hardon, and well, it is a lot bigger than Sirius' - fatter around - how on earth would it _fit_? So now they're just rubbing each other, and it's really wonderful, Merlin, the only thing better would be if -

And as if Sirius read his mind, he puts Peter's cock in his mouth. Ahhhh, Merlin, yes, thinks Peter. They aren't in the right position for sixty-nine, but they've only done that the first time anyway, so Peter just leans back and relaxes and nothing is in his brain but Sirius and his mouth going up and down the length of his prick, his peter, ahahah, little Peter, hee hee, oh it feels so _amazing_ when he lets the cock down his throat and makes a swallowing gesture, _fuck_, he's so close, he whimpers. Sirius senses the change and bobs up and down, like face-fucking now, and that thought _does _it, and he moans while he spurts down Sirius' throat.

After Sirius finishes swallowing, he gently lets the now soft prick down, and guides Peter's mouth. Almost no time since his own blowjob, he's still gasping a bit when he wraps his lips around Sirius. He licks the shaft first, all around, like a lollipop. Sirius talks about how much he likes that - Sirius is a talker, lots of dirty talk is what Sirius likes, the only time he shuts up is when Peter's prick is in his mouth. Fortunately he only gives running commentary, not commands, so Peter can basically shut it out without fear of reprisal. He knows what he is doing, he doesn't need Sirius to say how much he likes it when Peter does this or does that.

Peter grips the base firmly with one hand, stroking, and starts playing with his balls with the other. He lightly tongues the foreskin, then gently pulls it down with his lips. Sirius is moaning about how much he loves _that_, then Peter takes the head entirely into his mouth, running his tongue along the top and bottom in a neat circle. He does love the way Sirius tastes under his foreskin. The first time it was a shock, but now the taste is just so uniquely Sirius Black that he can't help licking it all down. But Sirius hasn't cast any lasting Charms, and the one hand stroking and the mouth on the head pretty much does it for him. He moans that he is coming, and then he is, and Peter's mouth fills with hot salty slime that is another unique quality of Sirius Black, and so he swallows it all with pleasure.

"Great Merlin's balls, Peter," moans Sirius, as he always does, "you really give the best fuckin' blowjobs."

"Thanks, Sirius. You aren't so bad yourself."

He grins at him. "I'll head back first ok?"

Peter nods, and they get dressed in silence.

_**notes: this is the only slash. Now Read On!**_


	2. Chapter 2: Meanwhile back in Gryffindor

_**chapter 2: Meanwhile, back in Gryffindor…**_

Remus finishes his Potions homework while James paces and rants about the beauty of Lily Evans. Remus sometimes has a hard time keeping quiet when this happens, even though his own crush is virtually gone. And he has a proper girlfriend now, not just a girl who only hangs out with him because he happens to be the Gryffindor Prefect. (Lily admitted, once, that she thought he, Remus, was just like the rest of the gang.)

But that's ancient history – almost a year ago – so now he just nods and makes sympathetic noises, trying very hard not to listen when James compares Lily's breasts to deer. _He stole that from the Bible,_ thinks Remus, whose Mum is Muggleborn. His grandmother once scolded him for not reading the Bible, so the next time he saw her, he quoted the Songs of Solomon to her. And – yes, in fact, James says, "Her love would be better than wine!" Remus can't help it, he snorts.

"What?" asks James.

"Nothing, nothing," Remus replies. "But if _I_ recognize your sources, Lily will even faster."

He scowls. "So I'll find some poetry by wizards. Argh!" He throws himself down on the bed. "You're right though. Enough about bloody Evans. Where's Padfoot and Wormtail?"

"It's Wednesday," he points out. "Peter's probably using the Room of Requirement." Privately he doubts this.

James apparently does as well: "Ha! More like, pretending to use it, and actually studying or something like."

"Anything's possible. Except Evans going out with you." He ducks a carelessly thrown pair of socks.

"You just wait, Moony." He thinks for a moment. "What about Sirius?"

"Ah, well, Sirius probably is with some bird," says Remus.

James sighs. "Do you ever think that maybe he screws around too much?"

"Compared to who? You?"

"Hmph. I just mean. You and I are perfectly happy with our one girl."

Remus tries for a joke that isn't really a joke. "I wasn't that happy with Evans."

"Prat." Another sock narrowly misses Remus. "I mean, I'm happy with Evans – or I _would be_, all right! – and you're happy with whatserface, but Sirius…"

"Sirius is happy to shag his way through Hogwarts, is what you mean?"

"No," he says slowly. "I don't think that makes him happy, at all. You didn't see him after his crazy Mother kicked him out. There was a girl involved there, but he wouldn't say anything about her. I mean, they probably didn't do much, he didn't want to throw his virginity-loss party till after that Hufflepuff last year, but still."

Remus finally puts his parchment down. "If he didn't say anything, how do you know there was a girl involved? Couldn't it just be his Mum being a crazy blood-purist?"

"Trust me, Moony: I know what lovesickness looks like."

Remus supposed he did, at that. "Well, if he didn't want to talk about it with you, it must be totally unrequited and hopeless."

"Exactly."

"I mean, what could we do about it?"

James sighed. "Nothing, I suppose. I just wish he'd try at least."

"Try what? To get over her by shagging his way through Hogwarts? Ever think that maybe the boy just has too many hormones for his own good?" asks Remus dryly.

"Well, yes, there is that. I don't know. I've thought about doing something similar to get over Lily, but any time I have a proper girlfriend it goes to shit. I told you about that handjob I got from Esmeralda Weatherwax, right?" At Remus' eyeroll, he continues, "What I didn't say was that I felt like a total cretin afterward. Basically like, I got mine, and therefore her use to me was at an end. I didn't say anything like that, of course, she just thought I was still obsessed with Lily. And I was, granted, but…"

Remus didn't want to admit that he'd felt that way with Mandy the first time she'd made him come. "So you think that's what's going on with Padfoot?"

James barks a laugh. "He is the only person more shallow than I am, right?"

"Can't argue that. So you think he's waiting for the right girl who won't make him feel that way?"

"What else could it be?"

Remus sighs. "It's just Padfood being Padfoot. You know he'd die rather than admit he's made a mistake."

"I suppose." He frowns. "But he is going to run out of birds, you know."

"Then he'll just start on blokes."

James glares at him, and Remus wishes he'd kept his mouth shut. Like many things, the fact that Sirius fools around with boys is something Potter prefers to pretend isn't reality. So instead he says, "You know Sirius, we aren't going to be able to help him until he admits there's a problem."

""Spose you're right."

"Of course I'm right." Remus picks up his homework again.


	3. Chapter 3: Brother's Seeker

_**chapter 3 –brother's seeker**_

Regulus finds the tapestry Snape told him about – the one with the troll ballet – on the seventh floor. He doesn't see a door, but Snape swore that the last couple of Wednesdays, Black and Pettigrew came out. Not together, not like the first time, but. So he waits, practicing Charms quietly.

And then the door – there's a door now – opens, and out walks Sirius Black. Regulus doesn't bother hiding, just casts a simple charm that gives his wand little starry trails as he swishes and flicks it. As if it's just a coincidence that he's hanging out here, as if he hasn't been waiting for his brother to emerge.

Sirius Black the Gryffindor starts immediately. "Hello, Reg," he says calmly. He doesn't approach him, doesn't move at all. "Did you need something?"

Regulus inches closer, still swishing his wand. "Isn't this pretty, Sirius?" he asks. He is close enough to smell sweat and semen on his brother, and he grips his wand tightly enough for his fingernails to begin biting into his palms.

Sirius nods. Any other observer wouldn't be able to tell how nervous he is, but Regulus grew up with him. The smell isn't conclusive proof, it could be anyone in there, although almost definitely a male. The scent of a woman is nowhere on him. "Will you come with me?" Sirius asks suddenly.

Regulus lowers his wand. "What?"

"I need to talk to you."

So, this is his gambit? "I don't think so, Sirius."

"Come on, let's find someplace quiet," Sirius urges, as if he'd agreed. He closes the distance between them and puts his hand on his shoulder. Sirius was always bigger than him. But he's not very strong, and Regulus easily resists his pushing.

"It's plenty quiet here if you want to talk, Sirius." He plants his feet firmly, and Sirius eases off. Reg doesn't relax, though, and Sirius starts pushing him again.

"Not for what I have to tell you, come _on_." His calm is deteriorating. Even if Reg were ignorant, it would be all too apparent that he just wants him out of the corridor. Reg decides to play it his way.

"You really must not want me to see the person you were with," he muses. The blunt statement shocks Sirius into stillness; his face, formerly flushed from _activity_, is now pale. "Oh come on, Sirius, you reek of sex. What's the big deal? The whole school thinks you're a dashing Casanova. Without the Love Potions."

The anger grows on Sirius' face. He flashes his wand at his brother, and suddenly Regulus dangles upside-down in the air. _Bloody hell_, he thinks, and tries to remember the counterspell that Snape told him about. Unfortunately he doesn't remember it before Sirius starts pushing him down the hallway.

Unfortunately for Sirius, Peter Pettigrew has chosen that moment to exit the closet they were in together.

"Ah, bloody hell!" moans Sirius, leaning against the wall and putting his head in his hands.

Even upside-down Regulus can tell the squat form. _Liberacorpus!_ he thinks and swishes his wand, and falls to the ground. "Why Pettigrew, what a surprise to see you here." He neatly uprights himself and approaches him. Pettigrew is scared stiff. Regulus makes a show of inhaling next to him. "My, you rather do smell of my brother. Why is that, do you think?"

"What do you want, Reg? Money?" barks Sirius.

He snorts. "The disowned son bribes the heir? I don't think so. There's nothing you have that I want, Sirius."

Sirius glances at Peter. "Get back to the room, Peter, I'll handle this."

"Oh – okay," he stammers, and high-tails it out of the hallway.

"So you're just going to tell the whole school, is that it?" asks Sirius bitterly. "Nothing I can give you to convince you to stay quiet?"

He stops for a second, and ponders. "How about a good word in with Emma Figg?" It's no secret at all that Sirius kissed every girl in the sixth year last month, and Emma Figg has something about her that intrigues Regulus a great deal. Even if she is a Hufflepuff.

Sirius breaks into his most winning smile. "Can do, no problem at all."

"If she refuses to even go on a date, of course, I can't guarantee my silence…"

"Don't worry about it," insists Sirius. "She's mad enough for me, you'll be a wonderful consolation prize. Er, you know what I mean. Piece of piss, Reggie. No worries."

Reg nods slowly. He was a bit shy around girls – he really had very little in common with Sirius – although there were plenty of Slytherin coeds who flirted with any Quidditch player. Hufflepuffs tended to be terrified of Slytherins, though, so this was his only chance before he wrote her off totally. "It's a pity, really, that Severus won't be so easy to bribe."

"You – you told Snape?" Sirius is horrified.

"How on Earth could I have done that? I just confirmed it tonight. No, he was the one who'd told me in the first place, you see."

Sirius curses Snape with words that Regulus doesn't even know. He is impressed despite himself. "That utter cunt!" Sirius concludes.

Regulus can't help grinning. "If you like, I can just tell him I didn't see anything tonight. But you have to promise not to go after him."

"And why should I do that?"

_Gryffindors._ "Because, Sirius, if you do, he might just tell the school anyway."

"Hard to believe he didn't already," huffs Sirius.

"I told him to wait. I told him I wanted my own proof. I might have," he admits, "implied that he was a lying half-blood impugning his betters."

Sirius tries not to grin at that. "You uptight prig."

Regulus blows out a sigh. "It's not like _I_ want the whole school to know my _brother's_ letting that fat cretin _bugger_ him."

Sirius' eyes go wide; Regulus almost never uses that kind of language. "He's not –" he mutters before shutting up wisely. Reg allows a tight smile. For some reason, that slip pleases him. Not that he wants to know who's buggering who, but that appeals to his ideals. _No one must bugger a scion of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black._


	4. Chapter 4: Lies

_**chapter 5 - fighting**_

Peter Pettigrew wakes up when Potter goes off to Quidditch practice. As soon as he's left the room, Peter goes to Sirius' bed. Cautiously, quietly, so as not to wake up Lupin. He sleeps deeply, but he has excellent hearing.

Sirius keeps smacking Peter's hands away, till finally he groans and sits up. "What, what, what?" He is not a morning person, but Peter is dying.

"Your brother," he whispers, and Sirius is more alert.

"He won't say a word. But he was only there because of Snape. That annoying, hovering little piece of _shit_," he spits.

Peter gasps. "Snape knows?"

"Apparently. Reg said he'll lie to him, say he saw nothing, but he wants us to lay off Snivellus."

"No problem," breathes Peter. "Except."

"Except?"

"James." He doesn't think he needs to say anything else. James hates Snape more than the rest of them do, put together. Peter wouldn't care about hexing or pranking Snape if it weren't for James. Sirius might, but Sirius even pranked Peter till … recently.

"Fuck. Arse. Tits." He runs his fingers through his wild hair. "I'm bloody well stuck for it; Prongs wouldn't ever lay off Snape."

Peter thinks for a minute. How could they convince James without telling him why? Then he has it. "Unless he thought Lily wouldn't like it."

Sirius brightens. "Of course. And she wouldn't, remember after the OWLs? She was right put off when James went after Snivelly. Perfect, perfect. I'll tell him I overheard Finnigan and Evans talking about it. Tell him they said he'd be cute if he stopped hexing Snape. Brilliant."

And so the plan is executed; during breakfast Sirius mentions it to James. James is speechless.

Black then says, "Of course it doesn't matter to me what those girls think, but –"

"Shut up, Padfoot! You don't care about what anyone thinks!" snaps Potter. "It's time, though. She'll see, I'll turn a new leaf."

Unfortunately it doesn't last.

That weekend is the Gryffindor-Slytherin match, and Regulus Black gets the Snitch to win, one-fifty to one-thirty. There are words after the match, and a huge fight breaks out. It's mostly Quidditch players, but Snape is with Regulus and Rosier and Wilkes (the Slytherin Beaters) and Potter forgets about his vow. He and Peter and Black and Lupin go after them, four against four. Snape and Regulus are far better than Rosier and Wilkes, but Black and Potter and Lupin are better than Peter, who is still better than Rosier and Wilkes.

All of them except Potter and Black (both Blacks) end up in the infirmary. Peter overhears Snape and Regulus muttering and glancing at him, and he is worried.

:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:

Monday it happens. It probably happened Sunday night, but at breakfast in the Great Hall, Rabastan Lestrange breaks out into a laugh, then walks over to the Gryffindor table. The entire Hall falls silent.

"Is it true, Black?"

"Probably," replies Sirius evenly. "Ask yer mum."

He snarls. "Is it true you're a filthy pervert who lets that slimy fat little Mudblood bugger him?"

Peter tightens his fist. His father is Muggleborn, but no one has _ever _called him _that._

Sirius throws his tray of food at Lestrange, who shrieks and slips and falls. He then leaps on top of him and starts just _pounding _into him, not punching with fists, but just slamming his fists into his face. "DON'T –YOU – EVER – USE – THAT – WORD – AGAIN!" he says with every hit. Potter and Lupin drag him off, but they are both clearly shocked. Sirius is given detention, and ordered to Dumbledore's office beforehand.

Sirius gives the entire student body a look of pure fury, then just runs outside.

James and Remus turn away from him. Gradually it occurs to them to look at Peter. He tries to grin sheepishly but can't keep it up. Meanwhile the Slytherins have taken care of Rabastan while hissing "pervert" behind Peter's back. That word does what nothing else has yet, and Peter likewise runs outside, embarrassed beyond anything ever before in his life.

He doesn't see Sirius anywhere. He sighs and goes off to Muggle Studies, glad beyond imagining that none of friends are in the class, not to mention no Slytherins.


	5. Chapter 5: Fighting

_**chapter 5 - fighting**_

Peter Pettigrew wakes up when Potter goes off to Quidditch practice. As soon as he's left the room, Peter goes to Sirius' bed. Cautiously, quietly, so as not to wake up Lupin. He sleeps deeply, but he has excellent hearing.

Sirius keeps smacking Peter's hands away, till finally he groans and sits up. "What, what, what?" He is not a morning person, but Peter is dying.

"Your brother," he whispers, and Sirius is more alert.

"He won't say a word. But he was only there because of Snape. That annoying, hovering little piece of _shit_," he spits.

Peter gasps. "Snape knows?"

"Apparently. Reg said he'll lie to him, say he saw nothing, but he wants us to lay off Snivellus."

"No problem," breathes Peter. "Except."

"Except?"

"James." He doesn't think he needs to say anything else. James hates Snape more than the rest of them do, put together. Peter wouldn't care about hexing or pranking Snape if it weren't for James. Sirius might, but Sirius even pranked Peter till … recently.

"Fuck. Arse. Tits." He runs his fingers through his wild hair. "I'm bloody well stuck for it; Prongs wouldn't ever lay off Snape."

Peter thinks for a minute. How could they convince James without telling him why? Then he has it. "Unless he thought Lily wouldn't like it."

Sirius brightens. "Of course. And she wouldn't, remember after the OWLs? She was right put off when James went after Snivelly. Perfect, perfect. I'll tell him I overheard Finnigan and Evans talking about it. Tell him they said he'd be cute if he stopped hexing Snape. Brilliant."

And so the plan is executed; during breakfast Sirius mentions it to James. James is speechless.

Black then says, "Of course it doesn't matter to me what those girls think, but –"

"Shut up, Padfoot! You don't care about what anyone thinks!" snaps Potter. "It's time, though. She'll see, I'll turn a new leaf."

Unfortunately it doesn't last.

That weekend is the Gryffindor-Slytherin match, and Regulus Black gets the Snitch to win, one-fifty to one-thirty. There are words after the match, and a huge fight breaks out. It's mostly Quidditch players, but Snape is with Regulus and Rosier and Wilkes (the Slytherin Beaters) and Potter forgets about his vow. He and Peter and Black and Lupin go after them, four against four. Snape and Regulus are far better than Rosier and Wilkes, but Black and Potter and Lupin are better than Peter, who is still better than Rosier and Wilkes.

All of them except Potter and Black (both Blacks) end up in the infirmary. Peter overhears Snape and Regulus muttering and glancing at him, and he is worried.

:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:

Monday it happens. It probably happened Sunday night, but at breakfast in the Great Hall, Rabastan Lestrange breaks out into a laugh, then walks over to the Gryffindor table. The entire Hall falls silent.

"Is it true, Black?"

"Probably," replies Sirius evenly. "Ask yer mum."

He snarls. "Is it true you're a filthy pervert who lets that slimy fat little Mudblood bugger him?"

Peter tightens his fist. His father is Muggleborn, but no one has _ever _called him _that._

Sirius throws his tray of food at Lestrange, who shrieks and slips and falls. He then leaps on top of him and starts just _pounding _into him, not punching with fists, but just slamming his fists into his face. "DON'T –YOU – EVER – USE – THAT – WORD – AGAIN!" he says with every hit. Potter and Lupin drag him off, but they are both clearly shocked. Sirius is given detention, and ordered to Dumbledore's office beforehand.

Sirius gives the entire student body a look of pure fury, then just runs outside.

James and Remus turn away from him. Gradually it occurs to them to look at Peter. He tries to grin sheepishly but can't keep it up. Meanwhile the Slytherins have taken care of Rabastan while hissing "pervert" behind Peter's back. That word does what nothing else has yet, and Peter likewise runs outside, embarrassed beyond anything ever before in his life.

He doesn't see Sirius anywhere. He sighs and goes off to Muggle Studies, glad beyond imagining that none of friends are in the class, not to mention no Slytherins.


	6. Chapter 6: Consequences

_**chapter 6 - consequences**_

Remus stares in disbelief at the scene before him. He and James have just yanked Sirius off of Lestrange, who otherwise would have been pounded into oblivion.

Before he or James can say anything, McGonagall has taken hold of Sirius, barking "Detention! Come with me, Mr. Black, to the Headmaster's office!" Sirius gives her a look, and she lets go, color draining from her face. "Come with me, Mr. Black," she repeats in a fairly steady voice. He looks at the entire student body and Remus is frightened – he can feel the wolf within him brace itself – but then Sirius runs outside.

James and Remus glance at each other, still silent, and then at Peter. Peter is clearly more embarrassed than he's ever been in his life, and runs off after a bit as well.

James finally breaks the silence. "Sirius and _Peter_?"

Remus raises his arms in a shrug. "Apparently so."

"Not that I'm judging him or anything, he's still my brother no matter what, but…" James chews on his lip. "Not that I know anything about that … sort of thing, but –" his voice drops to a whisper –"he could definitely do a lot better. No offense meant."

Remus blithely wonders how James could possibly not offend with that remark. "Like you said, who knows what blokes who like blokes like."

"Right. Hm. We should find him," James decides.

"Do you think he'll really go to Dumbledore's?"

James nods. "He never shies away from the consequences of his actions."

This is not exactly true, but Remus thinks he knows what James is trying to say. "Let's wait outside his office, then."

So they march hence. By the time they get there, all is quiet, and they assume Sirius is already in there.

"How long do you think –" James cuts himself off.

Remus frowns. "It must have been after we found the Room of Requirement," he whispers. "Peter's been in a really good mood since then."

"Hey, you're right." James is almost always oblivious to Peter, unless Peter is complimenting him. Remus privately thinks, now, that if Peter fancies blokes, it would have been James, not Sirius. Except, of course, James is hopelessly straight. "Hm. Still."

"What?"

"Do you think that's what got him set off the other night? When he said he preferred blokes?"

Remus tries to remember. "No. It was pretty obvious that Sirius just said that to cover something else."

"But, I mean, do you think it's – like, boyfriends?"

Remus can't help laughing now. "This is Sirius Black we're talking about. And Peter Pettigrew!"

James laughs a bit too. "Good point, Moony."

At that point, the door to the Headmaster's office swings open, and a sullen Sirius Black marches out, his eyes on the floor. He doesn't notice the other two till James yells, "Oi! Padfoot!" and then he swirls around.

"Hullo," he says in his sullen voice.

"Was it very bad?" asks Remus.

"You don't want to know."

"You're not – not expelled, are you?" asks James in a hushed tone.

Sirius stops short. "What? No, Merlin, nothing like that. I just had to listen to Albus Dumbledore talking about his youthful indiscretions with other men."

Remus is trying his damnedest not to laugh, but a smile breaks out. "You had to listen to Dumbledore talk about his sex life?"

"It's not funny," he huffs.

"Is a bit," James sniggers.

Sirius stops frowning and almost smiles. "Well. You didn't have to hear it."

The three of them can't stop laughing, now. James falls to the floor, rolling about and laughing his arse off. Even Sirius is chuckling a bit.

After they've calmed down a bit, Remus asks "How long?"

"Eh, he was babbling in the Room of Requirement after the party I threw you, going on about this bloke he liked who'd never give him the time of day, and I kinda felt jealous and kissed him," said Sirius.

"That's it?"

"Pretty much. We've met every Wednesday since."

James is sobriety itself. "Are you going to – keep on?"

"Dunno. He's probably plenty peeved at me, if I'd just laughed off Lestrange, nobody'd be the wiser. He was the one who wanted everything secret," he added.

The three of them walk silently towards Transfiguration, their next class. James finally asks, "What're you doing for detention?"

Sirius groans. "Got to help Sprout every evening this week."

Lupin frowns. "Even Tuesday?"

"Yeah, the whole week. Sorry about that, Moony."

This is very bad; Padfoot or Prongs alone helps his "furry little problem", but James is far too serious about Quidditch to be able to stay out all night during the season. And moonset is four in the morning. Remus sighs. He'll have to stay locked up in the Shack.

"Sirius?" says James.

"Hm?"

"How do you think Lestrange knew?"

He snorts. "Snivellus."

He didn't need to say anymore. Remus didn't despise Severus Snape the way the other two did, but he had to admit, the boy had a knack for being where he wasn't supposed to be at the worse possible time.

Sirius continues, "I bribed Reg into telling him that nothing was going on, but with that fight after the Quidditch match… I should've just laughed it off." He sighs. "I'm going to blow off class, anyone else interested?"

Remus shakes his head, as he's already going to miss Wednesday. James looks back and forth at his two friends, shrugs and says, "Why not. See you later, Moony."


	7. Chapter 7: Plots

_**chapter 7 – plots**_

Peter Pettigrew thought that the moment before he ran out of the Great Hall this morning was the worst moment of his life, but no, now, as he walks away from Sirius after the "let's just be friends" conversation, _now_ is the worst moment of his life.

(More worst moments are yet to come.)

He saw Sirius and James outside between classes, and asked if he could talk to Sirius alone. James cleared out with no problem.

Sirius was short and to the point. The blowjobs were over: they couldn't be guaranteed any privacy with Snape so eager to do what he could to destroy the Marauders. Even using the Map, Snape could probably find them while they were… distracted. So there was no point, really, he said.

Part of Peter is insistent that if Sirius wanted, he could carry on with it; they do _live together_, after all, and now that their roommates know, they could possibly arrange something with them, some private time together. But it was obvious that Black wasn't interested enough in continuing things to make such arrangements. That would be complicated, after all.

As soon as it wasn't easy, he wasn't interested. Like most things in Black's life.

So the rest of Peter just blames Snape.

Severus Snape.

_Snivellus._

What is the deal with Snape, that he has to ruin Peter's one chance at happiness? True, he and the Marauders have gone back and forth with pranks and jinxes and hexes or whatever, and the fighting after the Quidditch match was brutal. It doesn't justify this.

Peter spends the rest of the day alone, brooding, and trying to figure out the best way to pay back Snape. But he can't think of anything bad enough. He finally admits to himself that there's nothing, _nothing_ that could hurt Snape enough to make Peter feel better. The only thing that would really make him feel better would be Black agreeing to start up whatever it was they had again. The blowjobs. Whatever he'd want to call it, as secret as he wanted it, as long as it was there to look forward to every Wednesday night.

And Black wouldn't agree as long as Snape was in the picture.

Peter gasps when he realizes the solution is simple.

Kill Snape.

His roommates have joked about this sort of thing often enough, but not even James seemed serious about it. But maybe now Black would.

(Peter knows his own strengths, and even though he's furious enough to maybe say _Avada Kedavra_, he suspects he still couldn't kill anything more than a cat.

Black, though.

Black - and Potter – and, well, Snape – are the most powerful wizards in their year. Possibly at Hogwarts.

And Black was mad enough at Snape himself…)

By the time dinner rolls around, though, Peter has to admit that his plan needs a backup. If Black casts the Killing Curse on Snape, he'll probably end up in Azkaban, and that would be no good. So he decides to look up other curses that are equally deadly, but less suspicious. Maybe poison would be better, he thinks, but no one would believe that _Snape_ would accidentally ingest a poison. If Snape turned up poisoned, they four would be on the short list of suspects.

So, a curse it would have to be. He spends hours in the library, taking notes on all the best curses. Most of them are not of use in this situation, but the extravagance of some of them blows his mind. He can't imagine having cause to create a miniature volcano, for example, but it sounds like something Potter might want to do after NEWTs, so he makes sure to copy it over.

He feels a tap on his shoulder shortly before curfew. He looks back and sees Lupin, frowning.

"You ought to come back," he tells him. "No need to get in more trouble."

Peter nods and puts his quills and parchments away. He is a little surprised that Lupin is keeping his distance, till –oh yeah – he remembers what started this whole thing. Now Lupin – now _everyone_ – knows he's a fruit.

Funny, he thinks, to see Remus Lupin keeping his distance from Peter Pettigrew. It's usually the other way around...

And just like that, he has it.

:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:·:‾:

Remus has been trying to act normal around Black or Pettigrew, just because they were fairies didn't mean they weren't still his friends, but when Peter does that _thing_ where he stares off into space and licks his lips, it kind of freaks Remus out.

(It always has freaked him out, honestly; Peter always does this when he has an epiphany, just before he says something like, "Wait, I've got a _brilliant_ idea, gents!")

(Peter tries to copy the way Black talks, which is funny because Black didn't talk that way till second year anyway.)

So he taps Peter on the shoulder, bringing him back to earth.

But this time, if Peter has a brilliant idea, he is keeping it to himself.

Remus shrugs, and they walk back to Gryffindor Tower.

**_author's notes: Remus Lupin's views on teenage schoolboy fellatio do not reflect the author's. Like, duh. _**

**_Hat tip to Librasmile, who had the great idea to let Peter be the mastermind. Mwa ha ha ha! Check out her Snapefics._**


	8. Chapter 8: The Prank

_**chapter 8 – the prank**_

For detention, Sirius is digging holes where Pomona Sprout wants to plant trees to form a windbreak.

He pauses to wipe sweat from his forehead, and he sees Snape skipping towards him.

"Just when I thought my day couldn't get any brighter," he grumbles. Sprout has his wand at the moment, to make sure he doesn't use magic during his punishment. "Going to hex an unarmed man, Snivellus?"

"No, just going to laugh at you," Snape informs him coolly, in a voice far from laughter. But, he sits down to watch Sirius perform manual labor. He grins, then snickers, and finally, Sirius hears full-on belly laughter. The noise makes him shudder, and he thinks about Peter's rather hilarious jokes last night. When he suggested they "do in" Snape. It was quite a laugh, thinking of the silliest ways that Snape might die...

His laughter ceases abruptly. "There goes Pomfrey and Lupin," says Snape in a quiet voice. Full moon. They can see the two small figures leaving the infirmary. Sirius remembers Peter's words: "_Or Moony can just _eat_ him!_" They were all delirious with laughter at that point, but Remus still threw a pillow at him, not exactly finding it funny. "Where are they going?" wonders Snape softly to himself.

Sirius is angry enough to tell him. "To the Whomping Willow, of course. There's a secret passage there, didn't you know?"

"Don't be absurd," sneers Snape, but he looks at Lupin again, curious.

"Sure, sure, there's no secret passage. Don't touch the second knot on the base, then. Trust me."

Sirius and Snape engage in a stare-off, but Snape looks away first, and tears off, running towards the Whomping Willow.

Sirius finally finishes digging his holes, then marches back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Hey, Padfoot," James says absently when Sirius walks into their room. He has parchments spread out untidily on his bed. "Going to join Moony?"

"No, don't think so, Snape's following him."

James drops his quill. "What?"

"Bloody nosy bugger wanted to know where Moony was going, so I told him how to stop the Whomping Willow."

James is turning white. "And it didn't occur to you that Moony would kill him after transforming?"

"That was rather the point." Sirius is puzzled; James hates Snape more than any of them. But he doesn't have time to remind him of this, as Potter has grabbed his broom and flown right out their window.

Sirius doesn't see James for over two hours. He receives a summons to see Dumbledore – for the second time in as many days – and there is Potter with Snape. Both of them are trembling. Snape is greener than usual, and both have the look of recently healed wizards. Sirius sighs; Snape isn't dead.

"I've already heard the story from these two young men," says Dumbledore gravely. "I'd like to hear your side."

"Not much to tell really. Snape wanted to know what was going on with Remus, so I told him about the passage to the Shrieking Shack."

"And Remus told you about this passage?"

"Well... yeah. We all know about him. And the Shack," he said, cursing himself for forgetting it was supposed to be a secret. But, well, clearly the other two had admitted to knowing it already.

Dumbledore nods, still quite sober. "You two may leave. I need a word alone with Mr. Black to discuss his... terms."

Sirius swallows. This must be serious if he has to be spoken to in private. He wonders if he's going to be sent to Azkaban for Attempted Murder By Use of Werewolf.

Dumbledore paces his office. "From what you have told me, Mr. Black, I don't think you really understood what was at stake here. If Mr. Potter had not saved Mr. Snape, they both might have been killed by Mr. Lupin. Who himself would have at best been asked to leave Hogwarts, at worst sentenced to Azkaban."

"No sir," says Sirius slowly. "I didn't realize all of this." He finds it incredibly hard to assimilate the possibilities - Remus gone from Hogwarts, James dead - and feels hot and heavy and fuzzy. He's choking on his lack of air, and tries to take huge gasping breaths. Meanwhile Dumbledore has put on his most authoritative voice:

"You have always had a bit of a problem with authority. I chalked it up to youthful exuberance, and a rebellious phase. Considering your family, I was willing to overlook it as long as you seemed to be on James Potter's side." Dumbledore coughs. "But this, I cannot overlook. I fear there is something more than exuberance wrong with you, Mr. Black, and it needs to be addressed." He sits down and puts his hands on his head, but only for a minute, and then he stands up again.

"Therefore, you will be committed to Saint Mungo's for the duration of the term, where hopefully this … problem with authority can be looked into and successfully taken care of."

Dumbledore's words ring in his ears. The light seems to dim, and noises seem to come through cotton. And then the hyperventilating takes effect, and he faints dead away.


	9. Chapter 9: Reactions

_**chapter 9 – reactions**_

Initially, James is sick to his stomach about everything. He doesn't think he should be rewarded for saving Snape's life – something Snape clearly agrees with, albeit for different reasons. But Remus is easily convinced to hand his Prefect's badge over to Potter, something without precedent. The tale is heavily edited when it is told, but Lily Evans is not the only person impressed with it.

But she's the only one he can care about, while Sirius is gone.

Remus never was comfortable as a Prefect, and while at first he thought he was the best choice of the four Gryffindors, James' actions convince him otherwise. He couldn't have saved Snape, he thinks bitterly, and he owes James so much more than anyone.

At first he hates Sirius Black more than he misses him. Sirius never ever thought things through. But he admits, if only to himself, that this was far from the first time he almost ate someone while transformed. And Padfoot was usually the one to stop him. The wolf misses Padfoot more than Lupin does, at first. Eventually the feelings bleed into his human self, and he figures being locked in St. Mungo's is more than an adequate punishment for Sirius Black. Sirius Black doesn't belong behind walls.

Many girls – and more than a few boys – miss Sirius Black in purely non-platonic ways. Peter Pettigrew the most. He feels deep shame for failing to get Snape out of the picture, but doesn't feel guilty for his part in Sirius' lockup. Sirius was bound to do something stupid, he reasons, that would have led to the same path. He finally accepts that he's never going to taste him again, and turns to his studies.

Regulus is embarrassed that _Dumbledore_ thought it appropriate to commit Sirius Black. Severus tells him "he sent me after a werewolf!", and he feels St. Mungo's is too good for Sirius. Regulus isn't sure what would have been an appropriate punishment, aside from a good whipping, to be frank. But St. Mungo's is so very _common_. And Sirius barely even qualifies as insane, he admits to himself. If Dumbledore hadn't set a limit to the commitment, the Blacks might have had to pour money into the coffers of Hogwarts. As it is, they suffer in silence till the summer.

At which point, Severus Snape and Regulus Black visit with Lucius Malfoy. Quite a lot.

_**~fini~**_


End file.
